Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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