I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
