Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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