well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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