big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So much Jack, so little girl.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I am naked and annoyed.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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