You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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