I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
