I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
