East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
