The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize