So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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