So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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