We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
