i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
