all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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