oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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