Sry I called you an 8
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
