i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
