Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
