Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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