is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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