Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
