how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
