That's intense
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
