How'd it feel making her break her religion?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
