he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
