Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize