I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
