dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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