she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
