felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
