chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
