I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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