Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
