That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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