two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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