In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it was like eating out sand paper
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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