I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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