Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
