Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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