just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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