Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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