Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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