I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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