How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
