none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
