shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize