I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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