you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
