You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
