i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
