Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize