talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
