Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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