i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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