god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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