stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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