put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
