so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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