I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
