Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
