Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
