Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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