The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
