OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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